five ways to stop overthinking

There’s a famous quote from Winston Churchill “When I look back on all these worries, I remember the story of the old man who said on his deathbed that he had had a lot of trouble in his life, most of which had never happened.” We are lucky to have read this while we are still breathing. To think and act is excellent quality; however, thinking and thinking and thinking leads us to nowhere. Is overthinking a disease? Is it different from anxiety or worry? Can we even stop overthinking? Let us find out.

I have been thinking for some time to write on this topic. The subject came to my mind before my last blog post on minimalism and simple living. You guessed it right. I must have overthought about what, how, if, but and so on. The fact is we all are susceptible to overthinking; the problem starts when overthinking turns into unnecessary worries and starts affecting our well-being. 

We don’t realize how one thought leads to another and we are stuck thinking what if?

What if? How Absurd It Can Get?

When it comes to worrying, It can get pretty absurd. Imagine you have a job interview tomorrow, and you are super nervous; you start thinking, even visualizing what will happen, will you get late? Will HR ask you to return without taking the interview? Or what if the interviewers make fun of you for not being serious? You will tell them you were late because there was traffic, they will say you are making stupid excuses, what if you reach on time; however, the interview is rescheduled? Will they call you again? Okay, let’s stop here and breathe easy; nothing has happened yet. Your interview is tomorrow, and you have a lot of time to sleep, relax, and walk-in for the interview with a smiling face and positive mindset. Whenever you ask too many “what ifs” in your head, that’s a sign to pause and self-reflect.

The above example holds true for any other situation, an important appointment, exam, cooking a dish, or literally any task on earth. Our mind is limitless, and it can keep you scrambling your soup of thoughts forever till you don’t notice and become aware.

There Is No End When It Comes to Overthinking

While researching this topic, I googled to check what people are searching for and found the below questions.

Does listening music lead to overthinking?

Antibiotic to stop overthinking negative

If I do overthinking will my belly fat reduce

If overthinking situations burned calories

The first question is interesting. One thing is for sure the person who has asked this must be a great thinker. Over-thinker or not? We can’t say. The second one is contemplating the use of antibiotics to stop negative thoughts. This person is definitely an overthinker and perhaps suffering from GAD ( General Anxiety Disorder); one of the symptoms of a person who has this anxiety disorder is that they are aware that they worry too much, and this person knows there is something wrong and trying to find answers. The third and fourth are inter-related. When you suffer from an anxiety disorder or worry too much, it takes a  toll on your mind and body; You feel exhausted. No wonder people are being creative and concluding that they can burn some calories and reduce belly fat without going to the gym. How we all wish this to be true?

If you think by thinking too much you can solve problems, you are mistaken.

Overthinking Is Not Self Reflection or Problem Solving

The best definition of “Worry”  or “Anxiety” is the difference between expectation and reality. Overthinking is one sure-shot way to create and widen the difference, going back to our job interview example. The reality was – you have an interview tomorrow, and you need to relax, sleep and reach the venue on time; by overthinking, you allowed the mind to create vague expectations or possibilities. As humans, we are very good at avoiding the inconvenient truth or anything uncomfortable, and that’s absolutely natural.  No wonder we end up justifying overthinking as problem-solving or sugar-coating it calling it self-reflection. This justification may be valid in some scenarios but not always.

What Is Self-Reflection?

In simple words, it’s the me-time when you talk to yourself and reflect on your specific actions and future plans; Like how life is going and if you need to do anything different. I’ve gained weight, and I need to lose some fat around my belly; let’s start exercising or following a diet plan. This self-talk is much needed and great; you acknowledged some issues, and ways to can fix them. So self-reflection is also an excellent approach to solve problems that is within your control.

Overthinking starts when we have covered everything within our control and still keep floating in vague thoughts; about situations and things beyond our control. Let’s continue with the “reducing some belly fat” example. You thought about it, found a solution, i.e., exercise routine and diet plan. That’s it. Any thought beyond this point is useless. Like you might continue thinking about how your friends will make fun of being overweight, what if you cannot lose weight and become obese? Will you be subjected to body shaming? What if you end up being bed-ridden, get sick, and eventually die of obesity. Do you notice the level of absurdity when it comes to overthinking?

The takeaway is, Overthinking is “thinking about problems instead of the solutions.”  The more we keep our thinking solution-driven, the better our lives will be.

How to Stop Overthinking and Get Your Act Together?

Let’s move to solutions now and find out the ways to stop overthinking. The wise men say that solution is always hidden within the problem. I’ve kept a few questions from the google queries closer to anxiety solutions and often recommended by therapists. (Please note: I’ve drafted below Q&A based on my reading and understanding on this topic, if you know better, do share your inputs, I would love to enhance my knowledge)

Que. Do overthinking people in relationship overthink other aspects of life too like job or academics?

Ans. Definitely yes, If you overthink, you do it irrespective of the situation.

Que. Does overthinking pass to the offspring in humans?

Ans. Not always, but it may happen. We still don’t know how few people in the family might be overthinkers while others are opposite. The studies are still underway, and we would understand better in the future.

Que. The clouds doN’T overthink they just drift Hindi meaning.

Ans.  Baadal zyada sochte nahin, wo bas bahte rehte hain. Welll nature is the best teacher we can learn from.

Que. Effect of yoga on overthinking

Ans. Definitely a positive effect. We will discuss more in the following sections.

Few more…

Here are the five ways that can help you reduce overthinking:

Accept and Acknowledge

The first step towards a solution is acceptance. If we keep reminding ourselves “stop thinking too much” or “don’t think,” it becomes counterproductive. Instead of decreasing the anxiety and worry, it will increase. There is an interesting “the white bear experiment” to prove this. Another typical example is how many times you try to sleep because you have to get up early and feel helpless; you keep reminding yourself and eventually don’t get any sleep. Hence, we must accept and acknowledge the worry to reduce the distress.

Mindful living, Meditation, and Exercise

There are numerous studies and proven examples that prove that yoga, meditation, physical exercise has a calming effect on our minds. Mindful living is all about living in the present moment and not worry about the past or future. A calm mind and healthy body is perhaps the most important luxury one can have. It is priceless. After surviving more than a year of pandemic, most of us will agree. Psychologists have been performing various experiments to ascertain how mindfulness meditation helps reduce stress. 

You Can’t Control Everything

Let’s face it, we may try hard, but not everything is in our control. The interesting thing about overthinking is that it usually involves matters beyond our control or even imaginary. Once you have boarded a plane, you can only wear a seat belt and follow safety instructions; you need to trust the pilot and your destiny. A classic example is a wedding ceremony in India. You may give your best, spend a million, but can’t stop few extra sensitive relatives from being discontent or not happy with the arrangement. If something is troubling you, think of all possible solutions and try them; if you come to a dead-end, seek help. Humans are social animals, and seeking help is as important as asking for help. We should learn to go easy on ourselves.

Set Aside Time to Overthink

This one is my favourite. Based on various studies, postponing your worries and scheduling a particular time each day to think about your anxieties and possible solutions can be super effective. I will link it to the first point, once you accept and acknowledge your stress and worries, instead of telling your mind to stop, ask respectfully Sir, can we think about it later in the evening? we have 30 minutes scheduled at 8 P.M. It actually works and is effective in the longer run. 

Get It Out of Your Head

Does Overthinking Help at all? Benefits of Overthinking!

Just like everything, overthinking also has a brighter side to it. Some of the positive traits of overthinkers are creativity, problem-solving, and detail-orientation. Albert Einstein was an obsessive thinker and hence able to solve some tricky problems. Most of the artists rely heavily on imagination, and overthinkers are experts in visualizing thoughts. If you are in a field that requires detailed analysis or thinking out of the box, overthinking may be an asset for you.

Back to the google queries. Here are the last two questions that complete the Q&A as well as this article.

Ques. Hindi song to motivate to stop overthinking.