The First Crush: A Journey Down Memory Lane

An illustration of Indian school kids admiring their crush in class
The First Crush: A Journey Down Memory Lane - A blog post by Gaurav Sinha #gauravsinhawrites
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We all experience crushes, attractions, fixations, and infatuations, starting as early as our school days when we hardly understand the meaning of these feelings. As soon as you hear “The First Crush” you end up travelling down memory lane.

The first girl who smiles at a boy or is kinder to him than his friends of the same sex is often the one he develops his first crush on. Interestingly, the first crush doesn’t necessarily have to be the very first person the boy has a crush on. What matters is when people declare that she is the one for him. Then, the boy might find himself singing “Pehla Nasha, Pehla Khumar, Naya Pyaar hai, Naya Intezar” [Lyrics from the movie Jo Jeeta Wohi Sikandar, translating to “First intoxication, first hangover, it’s first love, first longing”].

When I think about my first crush, it must have been when I was in 2nd or 3rd grade, around seven years young. Back then, we were still learning to make simple complete sentences, unlike kids today who are much smarter. Things were a bit different three decades ago. I was in a co-ed school, but I was extremely shy and introverted.

There was a girl, who was the sister of one my friends. She must have been beautiful. I have a blurred memory of her being a few inches taller than me, maybe even more. My three-year-old older sister somehow noticed something or might have simply started a rumour. As siblings do, she used to tease me by saying, “She is your crush, she also likes you, and whatnot.”

Melody Hai Chocolaty – Remember the Catchy Ad Slogan?

I remember two special birthday traditions: not having to wear our school uniforms and sharing toffees at school, depending on what one could afford. The most popular choice was usually the chocolate candy called “Melody.” I’ll never forget the joy of receiving a toffee from her on her birthdays. It was a bold move to give her an extra toffee on my birthday, and it felt like a significant achievement.

The news had spread in my home and reached my mother’s ears. She never hesitated to mention it and embarrass me whenever she had the chance.

A couple of years later, we moved to Delhi and I never returned to that small town in Rajasthan. Yet, the memories remain. I still remember the names and faces of many of my friends with whom I spent time playing until late evenings or the entire day on Sundays. Ironically, I have no memory of the so-called crush’s face.

Early 1990s, St Annie Convent School in Pilibangan, Rajasthan. "Smiling faces behind me is perhaps what nostalgia means"
Early 1990s, St. Annie Convent School in Pilibangan, Rajasthan. “Smiling faces behind me is perhaps what nostalgia means”

Years passed by like a time-lapse video, with the sun shining, clouds coming and going, and then the sun setting to end the day in just a few seconds. Whenever someone asked me if I had a girlfriend or a crush, I used to answer without thinking, saying “Yes” and mentioning her name.

My friends thought I was lying, and I never tried to convince them otherwise. Even when I started working, whenever there was a discussion around non-serious, non-office topics, I bluntly said her name, and my friends were like, ‘Oh yes, you love making up such stories, you and your imagination are wow.’ By the way, Her name was Kalpana.

What about your first crush? Leave a comment and share your story, if you also travelled down memory lane while reading this!

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